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Bondage is a sensual art. Hearing the word “bondage”, sounds interesting to many people, but they do not really know what it is like. Our interview with a man, who has been practicing bondage for seven years now, and who is willing to talk openly about it, offers some clarification.
Q: What is bondage like?
A: It is the practice of tying up a person with ropes. To bed, to a chair, or even, if the person is in an empty room, we can always tie them. It is, in fact, much more than the actual process of tying – it is the feeling of relief. I practice it because I am a man who likes to be dominant. Tying stimulates and motivates the body. Bondage is an art.
I practice shibari – Japanese bondage in which roping is soft and not painful. Shibari is transforming the body into a piece of art. Bondage does not come to tying the body only but mostly transforming the other person into an object. The moment when the person agrees to be tied up as an object, they feel pleasure and reach sexual satisfaction.
Q: Does bondage have to include sex?
A: I have tied up people without having sex with them. Roping people doesn’t necessarily mean that they are sex objects. Tying people for torture is a different thing from the artistic act of doing it. For me, bondage doesn’t involve hurting the other person.
Q: What is the difference between bondage and SM?
A: Bondage is considered a part of SM. When you tie someone up, it becomes a part of SM which transforms into bondage. In western culture bondage is regarded as the prelude to SM – you tie someone and then it goes on with pain and torture. That’s why you have to know that I practice shibari bondage. I am not a sadist. I don’t get pleasure when I tie someone and cause them pain. The purpose is not to cause pain to anyone. It is an art form that pleases and excites the body.
Q: What does the term “bondage bunny” mean?
A: A bondage bunny is a person who gets more turned on the more they are tied up. That is the person who can endure more tying without feeling pain. Pain is a state of mind. Pain is something not experienced by our bodies. It is what we feel in our brain. Once the body is stimulated, the brain emits a signal to the body, telling it that it wants more. A masochist wants to feel the pain. The more pain they get, the more they crave it because they look at pain as a good thing.
Q: Do you have a bunny?
A: I have a wife, a family, and a bunny. I have tied many people in my life, and now I have found a bunny who loves bondage the way I do. She acts in all positions I want her to. I am dominant, and she is submissive. Sometimes, our sessions last for an hour!
I don’t think it’s easy to find someone who can endure getting roped as long as she does. After our sessions, we cannot just cut all the ropes and finish. I like to let her rest. It’s like climbing up a mountain – we go up slowly and when we start coming down, we follow the same pace.
Q: Is bondage a hobby to you?
A: Bondage is not my hobby. It is my art. I am an artist.
Q: Why not turn this into a business?
A: Everything has to come from the heart. When we start doing things for money, we lose our passion. I won’t be able to do it as I like, not from my heart. If I turn it into a business, I will force myself to hurt the person I tie-up. I don’t want to hurt anyone. I’d like the person, whom I am with, to enjoy it. Bondage means to tie a rope around freedom. It is mixing freedom with captivity. We will not know the value of freedom unless we lose it.
Q: Can you describe to me the feeling a kiss provokes while being tied up?
A: The feeling of a kiss can equal all the sex there is. When the person is tied up with no escape other than a kiss, it makes the kiss more powerful since it is the only outlet of power and that is why it becomes more intense.
Q: How do you choose your locations?
A: I love showing my work, so I don’t care much about hiding it. Once I even did it in Donau Insel. Sharing my art with people makes me happy and honored. Bondage is not connected to a location. It’s mostly connected to the person who is doing the tying up.
Q: How long does a session usually last?
A: It differs from one bunny to another. Once, it took me and my bunny almost eight hours! During that time I needed to get a shower twice! It was a long session. Bondage is an art show. To others, it may be a kind of obsequiousness and torment, but to me, it will always be an art show. It is a connection between the souls as long as both feel pleasure while doing it.
Q: How long have you had this passion for bondage?
A: Ever since I was a child I felt I was different from the other kids. Before I started practicing bondage, I noticed that men and women treated sex like it was some sport rather than a pleasurable act.
Once they realize that sex is a pleasure, they will handle it the proper way. In my thirties, I tied someone, but only after I tied someone up and had sex with them, my preferences change and I found out I was really enjoining the act of tying up. By the end of my thirties, I had my real connection with practicing bondage.
Q: Where do you find people who are interested in bondage?
A: I keep talking about it at swinger clubs and people are always interested to hear, but it is not easy to find someone who is willing to do it. Out of one thousand, only one girl will say yes to bondage. I have a family and a job, so I don’t have a “full-time” bunny, and finding the right bunny is very difficult. I am always offering, but people are more inclined to listen rather than do it.
Q: Does your wife know about your bondage tastes?
A: My wife knows that. She likes to be tied to the bed but not like a bunny with ropes. She is not interested in bondage and knows I tie others.
Q: Does the film “Fifty Shades of Grey” present real bondage?
A: This film shows some kind of soft bondage. It’s not the real thing. You might say it is commercialized to get people interested in the topic.
Q: How often do you have a bondage session?
A: Once a week, sometimes more often.
Q: Is this enough for you?
A: I want to do it more often, but now, in lockdown, it’s very hard.
Q: What do you use to tie up the other person?
A: I use ropes only, nothing else, and the kinds of ropes I use are softer. Some might say it’s not really bondage. The ropes are cotton, while they should be made of hemp because it’s much rougher. I like my bunnies and I don’t want to hurt them. It’s not necessary for me to hurt anyone.
Q: Do you use handcuffs to tie your bunnies?
A: it’s the classic western world bondage and I don’t like it.
Q: Do you have sex with the person while tying them up?
A: We have sex after we finish with the tying because it is so rough for us and also so good, and after that, we are very horny. When I rope my bunny, there is so much passion and it is extremely erotic for me.
There are a lot of people in the world who practice bondage. Everyone does it for a different reason. In this article, we have been able to unveil some of the mysteries that surround this practice. If bondage is just an idea for some, if some of us are interested in learning about that idea, others would like to actually experiment with it. I believe one should try it at least once in their lifetime.
Because, seriously, why not? It sounds fun to try an erotic and liberating experience. However, one should know their limits and find the right person who can share this experience with. And maybe write to us about their bondage experience?
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