Do you find yourself in a situation where you’re looking for a way to fulfill your sexual needs without the commitment of a long-term relationship? Or maybe you have friends with similar needs and you’re considering exploring a casual sexual relationship with them. Whatever the case may be, having sex with a friend can be a tricky situation to navigate, but with proper communication and understanding, it can be a fulfilling experience for both parties. In this article, we’ll explore the pros and cons of sex and friendship, and provide some tips for establishing rules and boundaries to ensure a successful casual sexual relationship.
A. Advantages of a FWB Relationship
Sex and friendship are two very different aspects of life, but for some people, combining the two is the best solution for their sexual needs. Casual sexual relations between friends, also known as “friends with benefits” (FWB) or “fuck friends,” are an informal relationship where two individuals who are close but not emotionally involved fulfill each other’s sexual needs.
Those who have tried FWB report numerous benefits that come with it:
1. Good sex without obligations
How to eat a cookie and have a cookie? In this type of relationship, there are no romantic feelings in play, but partners are still friendly and can engage in romantic gestures. The main benefit of a FWB relationship is having good sex without any emotional or relationship obligations. This means that everyone lives exactly as they see fit, remains single, and at the same time enjoys a good sex life.
2. Greater safety for intimate health
As a rule – people who are part of the FWB system are not obliged to be faithful to each other, but at the same time decide to narrow down who they have sex with. Oftentimes, relationships are only between friends, and then they also use security. Thanks to this, both of them do not have to worry about venereal diseases. Friends with Benefits is effective in reducing the risk of infection – as long as partners only have sex with each other and both are healthy.
3. Ability to end the relationship easily
If sex becomes boring or there is a misunderstanding between friends, it’s no problem to just end the relationship. No major feelings play a role here. After all, what they had in common was only sex and possibly sympathy, but nothing more.
4. You don’t have to stop at friendship
For many friends, the FWB arrangement has often been a springboard to more than friendship. After all – if they both get along – they like each other and have good sex, what is the obstacle to trying a relationship?
In conclusion, for some people, FWB is the ideal solution as they can pursue their sexual needs while also enjoying freedom and independence. It is particularly suitable for those who do not want to enter into long-term relationships or those who value their privacy.
The lack of emotional involvement in such relationships also makes it possible to eliminate the shame that may be felt with someone who means more to you than just a friend.
However, it is not for everyone as it requires the ability to separate sex from emotional zones and respect for the other party’s privacy.
B. Pitfalls of FWB
Being bed buddies has many benefits. However, keep in mind that this relationship has its drawbacks, such as the possibility of developing feelings and complications if one partner becomes more emotionally attached.
One of the primary dangers is that one party may eventually decide that sex alone is not enough. When we are close to someone, hormones such as oxytocin, which is responsible for the feeling of attachment, are released. This, combined with the intimacy of sex, may lead to one party wanting more from the relationship. Additionally, jealousy and misunderstandings may also arise, causing harm to the friendship.
1. Feelings can (not) come into play
This is the main trap of this arrangement. Theoretically, both partners know what they are signing up for – they agree to have sex, limit the number of sexual contacts with others, and never be jealous. Unfortunately – as practice shows, emotions and feelings may emerge and catch you by surprise. Attachment, strong commitment to the relationship, and often love, make the whole system most likely to be transformed into a relationship. There is only one “but”. For that to be the case, both people need to want more. If one side is more involved in the FWB relationship than the other, someone is bound to get hurt.
A hilarious example of the complications of this arrangement is shown in the romantic comedy film “Friends with Benefits” that stars Mila Kunis and Justin Timberlake. The film follows the story of two friends, Jamie (played by Kunis) and Dylan (played by Timberlake), who decide to enter into a casual relationship without any emotional attachment. However, as their relationship progresses, they start to develop feelings for each other and navigate the challenges of balancing friendship and romance. The film explores the themes of sexual needs, relationships, and the thin line between fun and love in a lighthearted and humorous way.
Is FWB for Singles Only?
Well, no, although it is often perceived that way. There is a growing group of couples, both living in an informal relationship and married couples who are looking for other people to enter into a lasting sexual relationship with them. Sometimes it applies to whole groups. Most often, swingers, i.e. people who exchange partners with each other, enter into such arrangements.
One of the advantages of entering such a relationship with a couple is the possibility of stimulating sexual relations with each other and breaking boredom.
Remember that it is not for everyone. If any of you are jealous and can’t imagine seeing your partner with someone else, the adventure is doomed to failure. It is also the worst option for couples who are in a crisis. It has been proven that married couples who want to revive their relationship through a threesome or sex in a larger group, most often divorce after such an event. If sex for you is only entertainment and a pleasant addition to your life as a couple, then by all means, go for it.
How to make FWB work?
Starting a FWB relationship can be challenging, especially if you do not have a trusted friend or are afraid to ask around if anyone’s interested. But with the help of dating sites and apps, it is increasingly easier to find “a special friend”. You can use apps like Tinder or Badoo to find potential partners and get to know each other through conversations, the first meeting and obviously the first time in bed. The sexual aspect of the relationship is crucial, and having a good time in the sack can make the relationship last.
If we decide to enter into such a relationship, we should first of all adhere to the principles of fair-play and be aware that we are only connected with the other party by friendship and sex. Jealousy, possessiveness and entering the private zone is absolutely forbidden, as it is a step to destroy such a system.
To ensure a successful FWB relationship, both parties must establish clear boundaries and discuss the rules seriously. This includes determining what is expected in bed and respecting each other’s privacy.
Friends with Benefits – is it worth it?
Once you know what Friends with Benefits means, and know the advantages and disadvantages of FWB, you probably wonder if such a relationship is worthwhile at all. It all depends on what your priorities are in life and how quickly you attach to people. If you belong to those caring individuals who fall in love quickly, you shouldn’t try to engage in purely sex-based systems without deeper feelings. In the end, you’ll end up getting hurt or making jealous scenes, exposing yourself to criticism from your friend.
If you don’t have a problem with having sex with someone you don’t have much in common with and don’t think about the relationship at all – maybe this is the solution for you. Certainly, there are boundaries and rules to be set. This way you both know what you’re playing, and no one will be upset if the deal ends.
In conclusion, sex between friends can be a good solution for those who do not want to engage in casual sex or who do not care about a closer emotional relationship. However, it is important to establish clear boundaries and respect each other’s privacy to ensure a successful relationship. It is not for everyone, and those who decide to participate in such a relationship must be emotionally mature and have a deep understanding and respect for each other.
Ultimately, whether a FWB relationship is worth it or not is up to each individual to decide. If you are comfortable with casual, sexual relationships without emotional attachment, then a FWB relationship might be worth exploring.
Text by Anna Koliber, author of “Faceless Lover” – erotic novel, available on: