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“Everyone’s a whore, Grace. We just sell different parts of ourselves.” Thomas Shelby of the “Peaky Blinders”
Before I get to the point, just bear with me for a bit.
A few days ago a man I didn’t know (let’s call him Man 1) wrote to me in Messenger at 6:30 in the morning. The conversation went like this:
Man1: Hi, sweetie. I want to make your day brighter. What do you say?
Me: I seriously doubt that. Who are you? What are you?
Man 1: I am the sunshine in your day. Let me show you the sun.
Me: … (while typing something along the lines of „Sod off.“ Just as I was about to hit „Send“, I got a dick pic. An ugly, tiny, shapeless piece of something worm-like.
Me: Piss off. I’m blocking you.
Man 1: You dirty whore!
Are you with me so far? Good. Last year I went on a date with someone I met online. He was arrogant and so full of himself that I could not resist the temptation of grasping the change to assess the range of his minority complex. So, I went. He was nothing like the picture I had seen – everything was obviously much worse, but the fact that he was much shorter than me and way too fat was no excuse for me to walk away – never judge a book by its cover, right?
I sat and listened to his mother and the wonderful meals she made for him back home. He went on for forty-five minutes. I was dying for a smoke and also getting bored as hell. Dominant mothers bring up men with mother issues – liMle frightened boys in grown-up bodies, expecting every woman to be their mum, cook, friend, their morning coffee with a blowjob, and a Kama Sutra goddesses. These men recreate the mother-son paMern of subordination and either become aggressors or look for a woman to treat them like their mother used to (or still does).
Man 2: I had a girlfriend once.
Me: …
Man 2: She was an on and off thing. LeT aTer a month. Like the previous one. And the one before. All women are whores. You look like one, too. You’ll never call and all I need is good coffee and a blowjob in the morning.
Damn, right I never called.
Some years ago my divorced neighbor, whose 21-year old daughter had recently died, a rather decent man, invited me and my seven-year-old child for dinner. It sounded really innocent. I felt for the man and his pain. He had a few glasses (later two boMles) of wine and here we go:
Man 3: Do you want to have something with me?
Me: Have what?
Man 3: Something. Like… you know what I’m talking about.
Me: No, I don’t want to have anything with you.
Man 3: I knew it. You are a whore like all the rest.
I grabbed my kid’s hand and stormed out.
Are you with me so far? There are men who like to strip a woman down to her sexuality and shove aside everything else that comes with her. Centuries of stereotypical thinking, childhood trauma, insecurities, low self-esteem, Napoleon complex, and so on, have probably led to this. We need not get deeper into the psychology of the human brain. Thankfully, most men are nothing like the given examples, but not a great thing those examples are actually around.
However, these “sore losers”, as a male friend called them, eventually find the younger version of their mum and live miserable lives because of unresolved issues. These men would go without sex for years, but would never give money for a prostitute – for them, it’s degrading, dirty, and not “normal” and also expensive, but they freely go about calling every woman a “whore”.
Let’s look at “whoring” from a different perspective. The word “whore” has its roots in the Germanic word horaz, which means a person who desires. Later, it was used to vulgarly refer to a woman who offered sex services against payment. Let’s pause here for a moment. You go to the shop and pay for your basic everyday needs, right? You go to a coffee shop or a bar to have a drink and meet friends – all these are needs we meet with no shame, we pay for the service and we leave a tip.
The time other people spend on servicing your desires costs money. That, alas, is not the case with women who look aTer one’s sexual needs.
Women usually point a finger at these women because they “steal” their men. Not true. A man would never pay for affection, if it was given to him at home. Some men point at them because they cannot afford pleasure due to imposed morals (although the porno channel or site is always on) and they boMle up their frustration for months, years, eventually turning into those “sore losers” who would call any woman a whore just because she would rather have sex with anyone else, but them.
In several interviews men shared the general opinion that: “The difference between a whore and a lady is that the whore is honest.“ Men are genuinely put off by women who chase rich men in hope of a comfortable life. And what do they offer in return? Sex. So what is the bloody difference?
The difference is that a gold-digger is rarely honest in the I-love-you moment, while the “whore” will tell you her conditions and her price. No lies. No fake promises. No expectations. No love. Quite understandably so because in every business personal feelings are not involved.
Men do not handle rejection easily. It is high time they understood two facts. Firstly, they are no longer in the position of being the hunters and women are no longer the running prize they need to stuff and hang on the wall. Women have been taking that privilege from them in the last decades, becoming hunters themselves. Secondly, if a woman moves on or never stays in the first place, this
means one thing – the man never got to understand the only thing he should have – in every woman, there is a scared girl, whore or not.
Rejection results in biMerness and self-hate and that usually comes out as an assault. “All women are whores,” he said. Okay, but aren’t we all – selling our values, dignity, and beliefs for the sake of comfort? More importantly, every person is free to choose the way they make a living, as long as they do not emotionally and physically hurt another being. Who drew the line between moral and immoral aTer all?
What about love? Love comes in so many shapes and forms. It’s always there. Love can be a whore too, you know – you end up paying the price to earn it.
How do women take rejection? Well, that’s a whole other story.
Also Read: “All Men Are the Same,” She Said
More on the topic of abusive men… Diamonds Production